


Love you!

by Elinry



Category: Gandrew - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: CMBYN - Freeform, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Kissing, Love, M/M, Pining, Quarantine, Soft Boys, Spokane, gandrew - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26115190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elinry/pseuds/Elinry
Summary: "Somewhere in Spokane Washington, 2020."Heavily inspired by the masterpiece that is Call Me By Your Name.
Relationships: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts, Garrett Watts/Andrew Siwicki
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	Love you!

"Love you!" the phrase, the voice, the attitude. 

I had never heard anyone use "love you" to say goodbye before. It came without warning and yet it sounded gentle on Garrett's tongue, warm, spoken with ceaseless softness. It is the first thing I remember about him, his voice and his words and his mirth. 

I shut my eyes, say the phrase, and I'm back in Spokane, months ago thought it feels like years now, watching him under the balmy sun, billowy green jacket, wide-open collar, glasses, and denim Levi's cap. 

"Look, Andrew!" He pointed to the tree beside him, "Apricots." 

They aren't common in Spokane. 

Slowly, Garrett cupped the fruit, already heavy on its branch, and picked it. He bit into it, its juices ran down his chin and his chest and I longed to taste the sweetness that glistened under it. 

"You want some?" He offered it to me whilst using the back of his wrist to wipe away the nectar from his face, god his face. 

I look back to that time and cannot believe that despite every one of my efforts to live without this "fire" for him, life still never found a way to put it out. Spokane. Summer. The soft pitter-patter of the squirrel's paws on the balcony. My bed. His bed. Our bed, made out of both our beds, pushed together. The giddy wind and the fields. 

The summer I learned to love Frank Ocean. Because he did. To journal. Because he did. The summer I pressed flowers by the garden and used them to adorn the pages I'd save for him. 

I could've denied so many things and believed my denials. But it was the warmth in my chest and the rosiness of his cheeks that told me there was something more compelling than anything I had allowed myself to explore. 

══════════════════

  
  


It might have started right there, without thinking, in the forest, alone. 

"Garrett it's getting dark." I whined I was afraid of the dark though I had never told another soul. 

"Spooked Siwicki?" He laughed and my chest tightened. 

"Please." We stopped and he faced me, finally. 

"Yeah, of course, we'll go back." Garrett's hand glided down my arm and folded over my own. His fingers laced with mine and exactly at eight o' four in the evening, my heart stopped working. 

══════════════════

Maybe it started on the dance floor when he was dancing with another, tall and broad, and it struck me then, I had no hold on him. I couldn't lose him, I never had him. 

I danced over to him shy at first, then confident once the alcohol kicked in and his face looked blurry, beautiful yet blurry. 

"What was that all about?" Garrett asked he was upset. 

"I dunno, he just didn't seem like the right guy for you." 

"Well, you've literally dragged me away from every guy who's shown any interest in me tonight. So all-knowing-wise-fucking Siwicki care in telling me who's this 'right guy' you keep using as an excuse?'" 

I looked at him, my eyebrows furrowed and I felt like crying, we were so close, I could've kissed him then. 

"Andrew?" 

══════════════════

  
  


Or perhaps it started in his tiny house. Or at the coffee bean. Or during our first walk together the first time we met and he insisted on showing me around. 

Or when he put his free arm around me and then gently squeezed his thumb and forefingers into my shoulders in imitation of a friendly hug-massage. I was spellbound. I wrenched myself from his touch, because a moment longer and I would've slackened like one of those wooden jig dolls when they're not dancing. 

Taken aback, he apologized profusely and asked of me to tell him whenever he made me uncomfortable- which he could never make me feel. So I mimicked the face of someone trying very hard but failing, to conceal a grimace of pain. He stirred something inside me I didn't know, that fact alone scared me enough to avoid him for the rest of that morning. 

But it might have started way earlier than I think without my noticing at all. 

I saw him, but I didn't really see him. I never noticed Garrett, nothing clicked, nothing "caught" me, and once I noticed, once he "caught" me. The few weeks of peace that had been offered had almost passed and he'd almost gone, and I had been scrambling to come to terms with all the love I had for him. 

I know love when I see it and yet, this time, it slipped by me clandestinely. 

══════════════════

  
  


"The mystery of love," I whispered into the air. 

"What are you on about?" He smiled at me and I knew I was utterly fucked. 

"To speak or to die?" I asked him, he knew what I meant, from the story about the princess and the knight a woman told us at the farmers market when buying peaches. Nectarines aren't common in Spokane. 

"It is better to speak. Our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. To make yourself feel nothing so as to not say anything- what a waste!" 

"You're wiser than you look, Watts." I smiled at him cheekily, he was right. 

"Don't get too cocky, doll." And that shut me up.

══════════════════

  
  


Before we left I rode my bicycle to a nearby bookstore and bought him a copy of "At Swim, Two Boys" and wrote on the inside of the cover page, "Somewhere in Spokane Washington, 2020." 

I wanted him to remember me and our time here, for him to grab this book off the shelf and feel the weight of my heavy heart, we cannot erase what we have become. 

On the drive home I told him about the day I thought he had gotten lost in the forest and how determined I was to call a search team to find him. 

"Garrett?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Promise you'll let me keep your jacket after." 

"Andrew, I'm not going anywhere." 

"I know, I know. But when we go back I have to get back to editing and Shane never gives me enough time-" 

"To see me?" I nodded. 

"That's all?" 

"I want your button-up too. And our unicorn. And your hat. And you." 

He held me tight before he dropped me off at my apartment, "take care, love you!" 

══════════════════

  
  


We hadn't seen each other in weeks and it sounded pathetic but I had to admit, I was falling apart without him. 

I started typing, "Please don't avoid me." 

Then I rewrote it; "Please don't avoid me. It kills me." You'd kill me if you stopped. 

I rewrote: "Your silence is killing me." 

At the last minute, I revised the original. "Can't stand the silence. I need to speak to you." 

To which he replied, "Grow up, I'll see you at midnight." 

══════════════════

  
  


I knocked on his door, softly. My heart beating out of my chest. 

To speak or to die? It felt as if I'd rather die. 

Something stirred inside and a weak light went on. 

"I'm glad you came." 

"Of course I was coming."

"I don't know what to do." 

"I thought you knew everything." Garrett smirked at me and my cheeks burned. If not later, when? 

"I know nothing, Garrett." 

"Well, you seem to know more than anybody else around here." 

"If only you knew how little I know about the things that matter." 

"What things that matter?" 

"You know what things." 

"Why are you telling me this?" 

"Because I thought you should know, I wanted you to know." He pressed his chest to mine, his heart, it beats and beats and beats. 

"I wanted you to know." 

Garrett's thumb traced my jawline, soft and gentle, he stopped at my lips and my heart ached. 

"Do you want this? Do you want me?" I did not give him an answer. 

Without nodding, I had already brought my mouth to his. 

It was slow but god, the sweetest and most tender thing I had felt since he had entered my life with his "love you!" and bewitched me. 

My heart leaped at my throat and he kissed it back down, I'd die if he stopped. 

"I'm in love with you." 

"I am too, god Andrew, I am so fucking in love with you." 

He tasted of peaches.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've ever written for this ship so I hope you enjoyed!


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